


Brains

by ba_lailah



Category: Plants vs Zombies
Genre: Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, Gen, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 10:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20526263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ba_lailah/pseuds/ba_lailah
Summary: Braaaaaaaaains.





	Brains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArgylePirateWD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgylePirateWD/gifts).

Jim was standing in the street. He didn't know why. 

He looked around. Many of his neighbors were also standing in the street. They looked different. They looked wrong. Their skin was gray and they didn't smell edible. Fred Smith, who lived at number 87 and washed his Buick every Sunday, had a traffic cone on his head.

Jim wondered why he was thinking about whether his neighbors smelled edible.

He tried to say "Hey Fred, why is there a traffic cone on your head?" but what came out was "Brains brains, brains?"

That seemed different and wrong too, but he couldn't really say why.

Crazy Dave, who lived at number 24, came out into his yard with a watering can. He saw Jim and Fred and the rest of the neighbors and started jumping up and down, yelling, "Ya rabababa! Rabba ro!" That was normal and fine, so Jim ignored it.

Crazy Dave jumped the fence and ran into number 22. Jim couldn't remember who lived there now. It had been Diane Jones's place for the longest time, but she couldn't get around so well anymore and had moved in with her daughter, and there was a new neighbor. Jim was surprised he couldn't remember the new neighbor's name. He was usually very good with names.

The neighbor had even thrown a party and invited the whole neighborhood. Jim couldn't remember that so well either, but it had been a pretty good party, he thought. There had been "special" brownies. Usually that meant pot, but these brownies didn't have that green taste, and Jim didn't think he'd gotten high from them. He'd just gotten a headache. And then he'd gone home and... and he'd...

And now he was standing in the street. And so was everyone else who'd been at that party.

Jim stood there for a long time. His thoughts were moving as slowly as something very slow, but eventually he managed to put things together.

"Brains," he said urgently to Mark Dolan, who lived at number 43 and grew prize-winning azaleas. "Brains!"

"Brains," Mark replied. He waved a little flag he was carrying. It had a picture of a brain on it.

Jim nodded. He felt sure Mark understood. 

The new neighbor came out of number 22 with Crazy Dave. They started doing something in the yard. Planting seeds? The sun was so bright, too bright, as though it were falling down out of the sky. It shone right in his eyes and he could barely see.

Then a breeze blew past, and Jim realized something very important. More important than what the neighbor was doing. Even more important than what he'd figured out about the brownies.

The new neighbor smelled edible.

Everyone around him smelled it too. They stood up straighter, as well as they were able. They turned toward number 22. Their remaining eyes gleamed.

Slowly and painfully, Jim began to shuffle forward. "Brains," he whispered. "Brains. Brains. Brains."


End file.
